Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.
So, Susan Sarandon’s lovely boobs have been in the news since the SAG awards when she dared show up in an outfit that showed off her perfect breasts. Mind you, no more than some of the other attendees, but because Sarandon is now in her 60s, she is therefore worthless to society (sexually) so she should only be seen in a burka. How dare she show us a little bit of cleavage! The rage!
For the record, this is what she wore:
Treacherous!
Twitter comes to the rescue
Obviously, the netizens of Twitter came out in droves to rectify this situation. To put Sarandon in her place. Because, how dare she?!
saggy award for Susan Sarandon #sagawards
— ManosKez (@Rojoblanco) January 31, 2016
Susan Sarandon’s bra deserves the sag award pic.twitter.com/5kYvja3Yzw
— KFC (@KFCBarstool) January 31, 2016
And of course, Piers Morgan decided to chime in too, because why not:
Very tacky, Ms Sarandon. https://t.co/GHFLRPbKna pic.twitter.com/yl5RTBIbL0
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) January 31, 2016
But seriously
I can’t even believe this has become a thing enough to warrant a twitter hashtag – #CleavageGate. I’m not saying I am opposed to backlash, I’m just saying WTF is the problem with cleavage?? And for the record, Sarandon’s cleavage looked fucking magnificent! Is the protest merely because it is attached to a 69 year-old woman?? It surely can’t be it?
Because I’m pretty sure last I checked, we are living in 2016 and not [insert timeline when women were treated like second class citizens]. Are we really doing this whole, “No one wants to see that shit!” right now? With the goddess that is Susan Sarandon – or any woman for that matter.
The rules for women are many
And don’t we know it. Don’t be a prude, don’t be a slut, don’t dress that way, dress more than way, and on and on it goes. We’re already confined by rules of acceptable behavior for ‘a woman’ now we have to add, ‘according to their age’. Reminds me of Amy Schumer’s sketch Last Fuckable Day – about the last day an actress is deemed fuckable by the media.
“In every actress’s life the media decides when you finally reach the point where you’re not believably fuckable anymore.”
Ain’t that the truth?
Never mind that Sarandon is an excellent actress, amazing mother, won many awards, is an enviable artist in her field. Nope. Her cleavage is what matters. How dare she show it!
We not only have to live up to some ridiculous standards as women, now we also have to make sure we never grow old or have bodies that grow old with us. And if we do, then we should disappear silently so no man ever has to think about older women. Go to hell…
Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:
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