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Is That The CN Tower In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To See Us?

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Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

As I’d guess is the case with most Americans, there is a great deal more I don’t know about Canada than there is stuff I know about Canada.

In fact, my ignorance of Canada is so comprehensive, I can list everything I know about the country in a brief series of bullet points:

  • Everywhere I’ve visited there (a designation which only encompasses Montreal, Toronto and parts of the country which abut the ALCAN Highway) has been quite beautiful.
  • A lot of Canadians really like hockey.
  • Maple syrup…. So much maple syrup.
  • Their Rush, while admittedly not entirely my cup of tea, still is vastly superior to our Rush.

As you can see, that’s not much Canada-knowledge. On the bright side, this means each new fact I learn about Canada represents a substantial growth in my Great White North knowledge base.

I’m Pleased To Report A 25% Increase In My Canada-Knowledge

Earlier today, I learned a new fact about Canada by reading a news story on the Internet – which means in a single click, I achieved an impressive 25% boost to my overall Canada-knowledge!

What I learned wasn’t exactly an essential cultural, historical or geographical fact, but I still found it interesting: A “sex doll brothel” is opening in Toronto.

I’ll admit, I was confused at first glance. Who would build a brothel expecting dolls to show up and hire sex workers? I thought to myself.

But then it dawned on me (well, OK – then I scrolled down): This is a brothel in which the sex workers are sex dolls.

Clearly, in addition to needing an education on Canada, I may also be a bit confused as to how brothels work. Oh well, that’s why newspapers and news sites exist, right? Not to educate me about Canada and brothels, I mean, but generally to inform us all.

Honestly, I Might Prefer Bumping Into A Single Person

One thing I learned about sex doll brothels in this article (or about this sex doll brothel, at least) is that they aren’t likely to create very many jobs for humans.

Claire Lee, who is identified as the marketing director of the Aura Dolls brothel, said customers will interact only with dolls when they visit the brothel.

“They put their payment down on the counter and they go straight to their room,” Lee said. “They’ll probably not bump into a single person.”

You know, now that she mentions it, I hope Aura’s customers won’t bump into any married persons, either.

“We don’t have staff there, just a camera,” Lee added. “The payment is taken at the beginning, you go into the room, do your time and just leave.”

Wait, wait, wait – what do you mean “just a camera”? And what’s all this about ‘doing’ my time?

Frankly, this is starting to sound less like a brothel and more like a prison for sex dolls wherein the warden charges people for the service of filming their conjugal visits.

Let’s Hear More About This “Three-Step Routine”

Relating additional details which I think are supposed to put readers at ease, City News further reports that the company running the brothel “also encourages the use of lube and condoms and said the dolls will be cleaned after each customer using a three-step routine to get them as clean as possible.”

Is it just me, or does a three-step routine sound like it might be insufficient to disinfect a silicon sex doll? I’m not saying it is insufficient, just that before I put my faith in its efficacy, I’d want to know more about the three steps involved. For example, does one or more of these steps involve the use of fire?

The more I think about it, maybe I didn’t learn something new about Canada in reading this article, so much as I came away with more questions than ever about used erotica.

Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:



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