Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.
I learned several things today, an opportunity which is owed primarily to my steadfast refusal to be interested in the lives of famous people simply because they’re famous.
First, I learned Rosie O’Donnell has a brother. Then I learned her brother is a member of the State Assembly of New York. Then I learned Rosie’s brother is gay, and, finally, I also learned he doesn’t want New York to allow mixed martial arts (MMA) competitions, because he’s concerned about the sport being too violent and excessively brutal.
Daniel O’Donnell’s opposition to MMA wasn’t the reason he made headlines, however, so much as how he chose to express that opposition.
“I should really like it,” O’Donnell said. “You have two nearly naked hot men rolling around on top of one another trying to dominate each other. And just in case you don’t know, that’s gay porn with a different ending. I won’t describe the ending for you, but as I’ve gotten older, the endings are less important.”
What O’Donnell said is amusing, yes – but I have to say, there’s a bit of truth in there, too.
MMA/Gay Porn Is Actually A Quite Common Analogy
While a lot of people who like MMA have taken umbrage with O’Donnell comparing it to gay porn, I can say without a scintilla of doubt, he’s far from the first person to make such a comparison.
In fact, around my household, where watching MMA takes place almost as often as watching documentaries on Netflix (which is to say basically every time MMA is on free TV), “gay porn” is the exact term we use to describe it – as in, “Hey honey, let’s eat in tonight instead of going out; there’s gay porn on Fox tonight!”
While I’m sure I wasn’t the first one to analogize MMA to gay porn, either, I have been doing so for about nine years now – which also happens to be precisely how long I’ve been watching the sport. The very first time I saw an MMA fight evolve into an extended grappling match, I couldn’t help but notice the similarities.
While I’m not so sold on the idea of most MMA fighters being “hot,” as O’Donnell described them, there’s no question the physique these guys typically attain is quite a sight to behold – although it can get a little on the freakishly drained-looking side when they’ve just completed their weight-cut prior on weigh-in day.
To me, it’s a little hard not to compare MMA to gay porn when you have a submission move called the “rear naked choke,” not to mention the extremely 69-like “north-south” position which often comes up in the grappling game.
Arguably the single best indicator of how common the gay porn/MMA or gay porn/jiu-jitsu analogy, though, is the fact there’s a very well-trafficked meme pointing out the similarity in the entertainment forms. (To me, as a creature of the internet, once something has been immortalized in meme form, it’s officially not a rare notion.)
What’s Wrong With Gay Combat-Porn, Anyway?
Where I part company with O’Donnell, naturally, is in thinking there’s something bad about MMA resembling gay porn.
To be fair to O’Donnell, I don’t think he was suggesting there’s something wrong with gay porn (in part because he essentially admitted to watching gay porn in the process), just that there’s something wrong with the grappling involved being motivated by competitive violence, as opposed to fucking for profit.
I’ll admit, I’ve had my moments of guilt when watching MMA due to the severity of the violence these guys visit upon each other. If you have any empathy at all, it’s hard not to cringe when you see something like a guy visibly breaking his leg when his opponent checks a leg-kick by bringing his knee down on the kicking man’s shin. (I’m not going to link to videos of this happening; if you really feel a strong need to see one, try doing a few searches for “Anderson Silva leg break”)
This actually brings me to another point of similarity between MMA and gay porn, though; the fact in both, the people involved are consenting adults who understand the risks of what they’re doing – or, at least, really should understand those risks, because let’s face it, it’s pretty obvious you might get hurt when you’re locked in a cage with someone who is actively attempting to kick you in the brain.
Either Way – Welcome To New York, MMA
Almost lost in the hubbub of what O’Donnell and other Assemblymen had to say about MMA is the fact the sport won out against the opposition; New York’s ban on the sport has been lifted, which means, by extension of the analogy, New Yorkers are going to see a lot of “gay porn production” coming their way in the form of future MMA events, not just held by the UFC, but it’s smaller competitors, like Bellator and The World Series of Fighting (which kinda sounds like it should involve hitting people with baseball bats, but thankfully does not).
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, either; big time MMA events draw thousands of fans and give a nice boost to the immediately-local economy, just like games in the more politically-palatable (but similarly brutal) sport of football.
As anybody who follows MMA can tell you, this day has been a long time coming. It took the UFC and other MMA organizations a lot of time, money and lobbying to make this happen, and now that it has, I don’t foresee the state’s ban on the sport being reinstated any time soon.
So, long after people have forgotten about O’Donnell poking fun at MMA, long after the jokes about Fire Island and fighting for belts and purses, combat sport athletes will be coming to New York to ply their trade, probably without even getting an erection in the process…. most of the time. 
Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:
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