Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.
Stop me when this all starts to sound familiar.
A politician shares information with colleagues, and in the process, perhaps shares more than he intends to, leaving a trail of breadcrumbs which suggest he’s been doing a little porn surfing. Then, rather than take the hit which comes with owning up to his actions, the politician blames it all on an unnamed “friend.”
No, I’m not rehashing the still-fresh tale of Canadian politician Andy Petrowski, I’m referring to the even more recent, remarkably similar story of Rhode Island State Rep. Ramon Perez.
I’m starting to think in evaluating and scrutinizing prospective elected officials, in addition to asking about their positions on important matters of the day, we should question whether candidates can come up with plausible excuses when the need to do arises – because if recent history is any indication, it’s clear the need will arise.
With Friends Like These…
In the case of Ramon Perez, the alleged source of Perez’s bad publicity was a special kind of friend – the kind who can be trusted to perform research into issues which are important to a politician, but evidently can’t be trusted to provide the fruits of the research in an embarrassment-free screen shot.
“I was asking a friend if they know something about it,” Perez said (the ‘something’ in this case being car accident protection legislation, not teen porn). “So a friend sent me that picture with the information I was looking for. I used that picture to make copies. I didn’t see the stuff at the top.”
You know, these politicians need to aspire to a better, smarter, wiser group of friends. Not that there’s anything wrong with having friends who surf porn at the same time they perform research into public policy, but why not do so in a separate window, in ‘incognito mode,’ or even using a different device than the one on which they’re conducting the research?
Of course, if Perez’s “friend” had this sort of foresight, he or she may also have been resourceful enough to find a more authoritative source for information on public policy initiatives than a Wikipedia article…
A Rookie Mistake In A Veteran’s Game
Why would Perez pass along a printout to his colleagues without scrutinizing it closely? That’s easy; he just lacks the experience to know any better.
“As a freshman I have a lot to learn,” Perez said. “I am really ashamed and sorry about this.”
Hey, we’ve all been there, right? Back when I was a college freshman, I did all sorts of dumb stuff I later tried to blame on my friends, like drinking way too much tequila, dancing half-naked on top of a table and sleeping with a dumb-but-cute guy who unfortunately seemed even dumber, but not nearly as cute, the next morning.
In my defense, I was a goofy college girl, not an elected official. I like to think if I’d ever become State Rep. Calico, I’d have had the sense to proofread my handouts more carefully than Perez – and hopefully to choose my sexting partners more carefully than Anthony Weiner, as well.
What If He Had Been Senator Gronkowski?
I’ll say this for NFL star Rob Gronkowski: Back when porn performer Bibi Jones posted pictures of herself wearing the Gronk’s jersey and posing with the shirtless tight end, at least Gronk’s bullshit apology was a little more plausible than a politician’s.
“I didn’t intend anything to hurt the reputation of anyone on the New England Patriots or on behalf of Robert Kraft,” Gronkowski said at the time, also claiming (backed up by Bibi saying the same) he hadn’t slept with Jones, just posed with her as a stunt to increase his
Twitter following.
Whether you believe Jones and Gronk that no sex was preceded or followed their photo session, at least he didn’t claim the picture his brother Glenn (who, by the way, later got in on the fun with a photo parody of his own), or part of a nefarious plot hatched by the defensive backfield of the Miami Dolphins in an attempt to get him suspended.
Had Gronk been a state senator or representative, I suspect his explanation would have been quite different. My guess is it would have gone something like this:
I asked a friend how I could get more Twitter followers (just to better spread my inspiring and uplifting political vision, of course), and he suggested I take a few photographs with a hot model.
I said no, because this sort of thing would be below the dignity of my office. But my friend is very persistent, so he Photoshopped me into a picture of his favorite porn star, then forwarded it to the porn star, who then posted it without my permission, which she couldn’t get from me, because of course we have never met.
Still, I apologize profusely for this incident, for which I have no responsibility… And which I’m sure I could have avoided if only I’d had more political experience.
Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:
