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Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.
I read an article this morning which reported the largest telecommunications company in Indonesia, PT Telekom Indonesia, has blocked its customers’ access to Netflix, in part because there’s too much “pornographic” content on the platform.
Needless to say, this news caused me to immediately fire up Netflix on my TV so I could properly investigate the claim. What I found shocked and disappointed me – mostly because the time it took to draw the blinds to reduce the glare on my TV screen could have been put to better use finding actual porn by some other means.
Even In Search of Truth, I Don’t Want To See John Leguizamo Naked
Searching for ‘porn’ via the Netflix app on my TV (which probably yields different results than searching Netflix by other means) does indeed turn up at least a few titles which, while not actually pornographic, are at least porn‐related.
Several of the most relevant responses to my query were documentaries, including the highly‐publicized “Hot Girls Wanted” and another called “After Porn Ends,” which was produced by Chris Mallick, the same guy behind “Middle Men” – a man who is not exactly held in high regard by a lot of his former business associates, I think it’s safe to say.
Also included in the search response is “Isabella Rossellini’s Green Porno” which starts out with a voiceover by Isabella herself, immediately clarifying that her program is “not pornographic,” thereby eliminating from consideration the most interesting of the options available to me.
Another selection Netflix offers me is “The Babysitters,” which IMDB describes thusly: “A teenager turns her babysitting service into a call‐girl service for married guys after fooling around with one of her customers.”
Reading a little further, I find the customer with whom the teenager had been fooling around is played by John Leguizamo, meaning that if this movie IS porn, I’d be facing the prospect of watching Leguizamo sweating up the sheets with someone less than half his age, possibly while slipping in and out of the voice of Sid from “Ice Age.”
Clearly, if I’m going to find Netflix porn I actually want to see, I need to keep looking.
So…. What Is Porn’s Connection To Pablo Escobar, Exactly?
Two of the works Netflix suggests to me when I search for porn made me wonder if I had accidentally entered “cocaine,” or “Columbia,” or “murderous, criminal, scumbag, dickhead.”
The first, “Narcos,” is a Netflix dramatic series of which I’ve actually watched several episodes. It has sex scenes, sure, and I suppose they’re probably pretty graphic by the standards of Indonesia, but not exactly porn as most Netflix users would define it.
The other, “Escobar, El Patron Del Mal,” (and no, that’s not a tequila reference) appears to be a Spanishlanguage documentary about “the exploits of the notorious drug lord, Pablo Escobar.” In other words, it’s a documentary covering the same basic ground as Narcos.
In either case, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to find anything which will inspire me to masturbate, which is a pretty crucial criterion for me where porn is concerned. Granted, there’s a lot of material out there which is undeniably “pornographic” that also doesn’t make me want to masturbate, but it also tends to have a lot less cocaine in it (depicted on screen, at least).
The more interesting question here, to me, is what’s the connection between Pablo Escobar and porn?
Was he a silent source of funding for the Big Hair Era of 80s porn? Did he use to date Christy Canyon?
Did he ever go “gay for pay?”
Scratch that last one, actually. If there’s one thing we know for sure about Escobar, it’s the fact the guy was made of money – so if he did gay porn, it had to be a question of personal passion, not payment.
Also possible, maybe Escobar did a little softcore before becoming famous, perhaps entitled “El Partido a Gato y Semantal.”
Well…. One Out Of Two Ain’t Bad
To be fair to the good folks of PT Telekom Indonesia, they did also say Netflix had too much violent content on it, too – and I don’t need to do any searching to know there’s plenty of violence to be had by Netflix customers.
Plus, I’ll give PT Telekom this much: At least they’re consistent in their censorious desires, and see both sex and violence, individually, as a problem. For a lot of media moralists, depictions of violence are really only a problem if they also involve depictions of sex.
It’s one thing to show a hero like John “Die Hard” McClain personally annihilating enough terrorists to fill a football stadium, but if he ties one of them to a chair and says mean things about the guy while dripping wax on the bound man’s dick, that’s just way the fuck out of line…. Especially if the guy in the chair is being played by John Leguizamo.
Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:
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