Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.
As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a sucker for a tantalizing headline. So, when I saw something about the cops raiding a porn shoot being conducted at a “marriage hall” in Salt Lake, I figured I was in for a very fun story, one possibly replete with outraged Mormons and sacrilegious pornographers verbally dueling in the press.
It was then I learned the mildly disappointing fact there’s also a “Salt Lake” in Kolkata, India, which is where this incident actually took place.
So much for me getting the opportunity to make snarky reference to the “Church of Lay-der Day Saints,” eh?
On The Other Hand….
Happily, my initial disappointment at finding this incident did not take place in Utah was quickly alleviated by impressively out of proportion reporting coming from Kolkata, where the diagrams, charts and press conferences suggested something more along the dimensions of an FBI sting which brings down a major mafia family.
“We have arrested 28 people, including seven women models, five male models, two directors and specialized sound recordists,” explained one of the investigators on the case. “We caught them while they were shooting inside the bathroom and bedroom.”
C’mon – only 28 arrests? Why stop there?
This horrible porn-filming conspiracy could go way past the local producers, after all – possibly all the way up to Aditya Chopra, the person behind the runaway hit Dhoom 3, and presumably other action movies in which one or more protagonists wears a bowler, as well.
The REAL Scandal Here: The Pay Scale
Porn performers, please stop me when this next part starts to sound a little too familiar.
According to a “top police officer” involved in the bust, while the models were paid 1,000 rupees per day (roughly $15 bucks USD), the cameras cost 35,000Rs per day to rent and the guys who owned the marriage hall negotiated a price of 7500Rs for use of their property.
Total cost of production per day, according to the cops, was 87,000Rs, or around $1300 USD, give or take a few plates of chicken tikka masala from central catering.
Clearly, this was a major criminal operation, right? I mean, $1300 a day isn’t peanuts – unless you’re making a movie, of course, in which case it’s not even peanut shells.
If I were one of the performers busted on the Salt Lake set, the only thing worse than getting paid $15 a day to do porn might be getting arrested as a result – particularly if attorneys in the area charge more than a few paisa per hour.
I’ve Heard Of “Bait and Switch,” But….
Also very sucky, if true, is the fact the performers allegedly were told the filming was part of a documentary, learning it was a porn movie only after arriving on set.
Personally, I find this claim dubious, for several reasons.
First of all…. actors appearing in a documentary? What were they told they’d be doing there at the Dishari marriage hall, recreating the recent nuptials of Pooja Joshi and Maanish Arora? Did some foreigner working on the movie mix up the Hindi terms for “bridal” and “golden” when it came to describing the shower scene?
Second, blaming the producer is always the first move actors make when things go wrong – just like when Martin Sheen had a heart attack on the set of Apocalypse Now and it somehow became Francis Ford Coppola’s fault. Granted, Coppola did insist on continuing to film despite grave concern over Sheen’s health, but Coppola only did so because he’s a horrible, callous and insanely egotistical person – not because he’s some kind of criminal mastermind.
Plus, if Martin Sheen shown up to make Apocalypse Now and it turned out he was required to have gay sex with Marlon Brando instead of pretending to hunt down and assassinate him with a rusty machete, my guess is he would have closed his eyes, pretended he was fucking the On the Waterfront-era Brando and made the most of it. Sheen is a professional, after all.
So; What Happens Now With the Movie?
I can’t be the only one who becomes more interested in seeing a movie after hearing about on-set controversy, right? Good, bad or kuroop, I want to see how these marriage hall hijinks pan out as erotic entertainment on the big (tablet) screen!
Sadly, my bet is this production will never be displayed, be it on the web or in theaters, thanks to an ill-timed raid by a bunch of cops who clearly aren’t film buffs – or, at least, clearly aren’t fans of films in which actors perform in the buff.
It’s a shame, really; rumor has it the big dance-off/gangbang sequence at the end was shaping up to be quite the triumph of meticulously choreographed fornication!
Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:
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